Guilty pleasure

Design Star on HGTV is my closet addiction. Each episode of the interior design challenge reality show is like an ice cream sundae for the mind.

My favorite contestant this season is Josh "Sparkle Josh" Johnson, an extremely talented, inexhaustibly cheerful designer from Hendersonville, Tennessee.

Here are a few quips from his contestant profile:

If I weren't a designer, I'd be: A Solid Gold dancer

Something you'd never guess about me: I was once a probation officer

Childhood dream: Flying Wonder Woman's invisible jet

Usual skills: Clogging

If my life were a sitcom, it would be: Moesha

Why I should win: Because America is ready for the "Josh Johnson Experience"

Some people say they love life; others show that they do. Sparkle Josh is clearly one of the latter. No matter what my mood is initially, after an hour of watching him, I am too.

Wheeee!

If you've read the past few posts, you know my life had a major hiccup recently.

During the course of two days, I had every work-related experience I've tried my whole life to avoid, and I presented publicly every emotion I've tried my whole life not to show. I got angry. I said what I felt. I was embarrassed. I cried...

And guess what? It didn't kill me.

That was the first indication that something was afoot.

The second occurred this morning. I woke up full of gratitude -- gratitude for my life, my health, my family and my friends. Gratitude for the strength to finally go after what I really want. Gratitude for having, in a world full of turmoil, a day of peace.

The last few days brought change that was unexpected, painful, frightening and disconcerting. Ultimately, though, those days were a gift. The fall was horrible, but the bounce-back? Baby, what a ride!

On iTunes right now: Nothing at all.

Last week's Quote of the Week

"This is what I have learned: that everybody is talented, original and has something important to say."
-- Brenda Ueland, author of If You Want to Write

Calling Ashley Judd!

If my life were a movie, I'd want to be played by Ashley Judd.

Whenever she plays a woman in distress, she has about fifteen minutes of angst then the music swells, she gets a determined look on her face and Presto! Change-o! she's miraculously reborn. She's spunky. She's focused. She's totally in control.

Now, being portrayed by Ashley Judd is a stretch for many reasons, not the least of which is that the personal orchestra-on-call specializing in my Presto! Change-o! music is apparently on strike. Or hard of hearing. Or just too darn cranky to be bothered these days.

But that's beside the point.

Movies have a way of glossing over in fifteen minutes what can take weeks, months or years to accomplish. Deciding what you want, making the hard, hard choices necessary to get it, taking risks and failing at least some of the time takes time.

One of the little nuggets of animal kingdom trivia stuck in my brain is a fact about birds. Watching them struggle to free themselves from their eggs can be heartbreaking. Some survive. Some don't. Those who do emerge wet, disheveled, bruised and exhausted...but it's that struggle that gives them the strength to live, to grow and to fly.

For everyone out there going through the struggle, I'm pulling for you.

Pull for me.

One day, maybe we'll all be played by Ashley Judd!

Well, now...

Sometimes Ms. Peri is a lot better at offering advice than she is at taking it. And sometimes the universe gives Ms. Peri a huge smackdown, just to get her attention.

A few weeks ago, I realized that I was drifting. I had several writing projects under way, and I was splintered in a dozen different directions. I wasn't focusing on the goals I'd set and more than a few friends advised me to slow down, take a deep breath and force myself to answer the question, "What do you want?"

But I didn't.

Why? Well, because I'm Ms. Peri, and I can do it all. And because if I don't commit, I'll never fail...and Ms. Peri does not like to fail.

Smart move, right?

Apparently the universal powers that be (UPTB) did not agree.

First, they tried a friendly nudge. A local professional organization nominated me for PR person of the year. It was a huge honor but throughout the process I kept hearing a little voice asking, "Is this what you want? Is this it?"

Dealing with those issues was inconvenient and the little voice was a nag, so I blew it off...even though I knew that PR, at least this year, is my bread-and-butter, not my heart and soul.

I didn't decline the nomination, but I didn't fully engage in the process either. I just went with the flow. I didn't commit.

Clearly dissatisfied with that approach, the UPTB opted for a shove.

Today, my job-share arrangement at a local magazine ended without warning. Whoosh! One more item off my plate.

While I was listening to my boss tell my work share partner and me that we were fired, that darn little voice came back and asked, "What do you want? What do you really want?"

Apparently, I am destined to answer this question one way or the other. I'll either suck it up and commit to something or, one by one, my diversions will be waved in my face or be taken away.

Not to bring age into the equation, but I think the UPTB are trying to tell me that I'm too old to be so ambivalent.

Life is interesting, isn't it?

Playing on iTunes right now: Everything by Michael Buble. I LOVE this song!

Last week's Quote of the Week

"Begin anew by throwing away old things. Old shoes, old maps, old cookbooks. Outgrowing is part of growing up....For every object we cast away, for every friend we lose sight of, for every moment in time we can't recoup, and for every place that's no longer what it used to be, we receive in exchange a wealth of keepsake impressions. How strange -- no one can ever take away what is no longer ours."
-- Veronique Vienne from The Art of Growing Up, Simple Ways to Be Yourself At Last

What's your theme song?

Carleen Brice asked this recently on her blog. What a terrific question. If music stirs the spirit and lyrics arouse the mind, we should all have our own theme song, shouldn't we?

Here's mine. It's Proud by Heather Small. It's the theme song for me, for my novel -- and (here's positive visualization talking) for the movie I see being made from my book!

Wonderful lyrics, yes?