Have you ever struggled with the Perfectionist Syndrome? Wasn't that supposed to disappear after we turned 40? Yeah, I know. I thought so too. Boy, were we wrong!
It may be the 21st Century, but medical experts say a disproportionate number of women still suffer from the need to be perfect. For some, the fear of making mistakes manifests as anorexia or bulimia. For others, it causes overeating, rashes or a host of other maladies. I used to know someone who grew so nervous that she'd pull her eyebrow hair out with her fingers. (I can barely manage to pluck mine with tweezers. I cannot even imagine pulling hair out with my hands!)
I delayed publishing this blog for months because I couldn't get everything right. I couldn't figure out how to upload pictures to my headline area. I couldn't find just the right template. I couldn't pick the perfect color palette. I was frozen.
It was like being in tenth grade again, taking Spanish II from Mrs. Hanson. I was afraid to answer questions, afraid to speak up because the answer I offered might be wrong. And being wrong meant being embarrassed. And being embarrassed? I'd rather die.
I never got over that way of thinking. It's why so much of my list of things to do before I turn 50 is still undone. Don't take a step. It might be the wrong one. Don't speak up. I might not have the right thing to say.
I don't know what made the difference today. I have no idea what led me to finally publish this blog. Whatever, it was, I'm glad it happened. (Or, as Oprah would say, I Am Grateful!) I'm going to pick the most important items on my Do Before I Turn 50 list and spend the next 22 months making them happen.
There will probably be some extraordinary accomplishments, and there will probably be some incredible defeats. Whatever happens, it will be an incredible ride.
Please join me. We'll have fun.
On my iPod right now: There Are by Toshi Reagon
